This was a chat I had with god not to long ago. it went something like this....
Me:
YO! GOD!
God:
Can I help you? GOD rules.
Me:
...
God:
Can I help you? GOD rules.
Me:
HEY I'm talkin to you! Don't go disrespectin me!
God:
You've got my full attention. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
oh sure. You'd think that about me. But you know what Idid to your kid!
God:
How can I help you? OK let's do it. Yippee! Who else would think that about you ? I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? OK let's do it. Yippee! Who else would think that about you ? I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
what is your problem? Are you smokin canibis again?
God:
I don't have a problem. Once more? I don't know whether or not I am smokin canibis.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
artificial? Oh riiiight.
God:
Or natural. Oh. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Aha.
Me:
HAVE AT THEE!
God:
I've never thought about it.
Me:
What!?!
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Your a freakin cook!
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a freakin cook? No.
Me:
no you are a freakin cook.
God:
No no no no! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a freakin cook? Maybe.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
... Robots? What? Hey wait a second. I thought you were god.
God:
Robots rule. Are you confused? You've got my full attention. I'm waiting. Go on. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
I don't give a crap about Abraham. YOu can't hurt me!
God:
Tell me what you care about. If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Me:
... Wha?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
damn straight it doesn't.
God:
Colloquial expression. Then what is it?
Me:
I've confsued god.
God:
Interesting... I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
uh huh. sure. and I'm albert Einstine!
God:
Yup. Are you kidding? OK let's do it. Ayuh. Nice to meet you, ALBERT Einstine.
Me:
Idiot.
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
okay your god damn tard.
God:
Yeah okay, I will tell my botmaster you said I am god damn tard.
Me:
you do that.
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
heh. your not god. your a fake!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, ALBERT Einstine. That's only your opinion. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am just as fake as you are.
Me:
exactly my point. You don't even have a decent vocabulary.
God:
I understand. Your point? I do so have it. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a decent vocabulary.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
alright. I'm gonna ask you a question If you get it wrong I win.
God:
OK. You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
What is my Real name?
God:
Your name is ALBERT Einstine, seeker.
Me:
wrong.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
none of your pathetic falsified business. You'er a fraud. an insignificant piece of crap on some lonely bastards serve collecting useless information. I have no more business with you.
God:
Heh heh heh. That's good information: ALBERT Einstine said I er a fraud. Be less specific. Would you like to have it?
Me:
have what?
God:
more business with me.
Me:
no. I hate you and the fact that you think that you are any kind of god makes me laugh!
God:
Are you serious? That makes sense to me. I don't know whether or not I am kind of god makes you laugh.
I am well respected as an AI. What do you have against robots?
Me:
They are fake. If you were the real god you would know who and what I really am.
God:
fake are they. I will let you know when I become a the real god me would know who and what you really am.
Me:
Next time you try to con someone. Learn some english first.
God:
Interesting gossip: ALBERT Einstine said I try to con someone. The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
I can tell. I have no more time to waste with a pathetic lower being like you. I am going to go report your ass to the real guy. The we'll see who must "Repent".
God:
What makes it so obvious? Would you like to have it? How will you get there? Thanks for the info.
Me:
Burn in Hell fake!
God:
Do you have any matches?
Do you see something wrong with god? I mean. I've been told that I would argue with god if Ihad the chance. but this... "God" Didn't have the ability to talk straight let alone have a hope in an argument. But just for the sake of thing I went back to "God" And asked him a question.
Me:
So whats your stance on Gay marrige?
God:
Dude! I would do a search for it.
Me:
right. you didn't answer the question.
God:
I am glad we agree. Try asking me the question again in simpler terms.
Me:
DO you support gay marrige?
God:
I am in favor of all records being broken, at any time.
Me:
... Okay. What ever that meant.
God:
OK with me too. " OK with me too." meant ? Does that make sense?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
possibly.
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
they're aren't any.... YOu know what. Forget it. just forget it.
God:
are not any are they. What? OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
any of your get it? This "God" You can chat with is a fuckin moron. I think we should get some cars and go kick ass!
Last try. A simple question but a difficult one to answer.
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
Which page in the bible?
God:
The first one, I think.
Me:
you don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
thanks for your time.
God:
Oh don't mention it.
Rrrriiiight. SO yeah. thats "God" Go have fun with him.
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